Fun and frustration

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Simborg's laws of backgammon

From:   NYCGuy
Address:   nycguy@worldnet.att.net
Date:   27 June 1997
Subject:   (PHIL) SIMBORG'S LAWS OF BACKGAMMON
Forum:   rec.games.backgammon
Google:   33c0116e.13067591@netnews2.worldnet.att.net

Posted with author's permission.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        SIMBORG'S LAWS OF BACKGAMMON

Its easy to tell when you have a great roll--the dice will be cocked.
The secret of success is to always play worse players (and roll great).
Anyone who isnt superstitious hasnt played much backgammon.
For every cube action, there is an equal and opposite cube action (that
will bite you in the ass later).
There are three kinds of people in this world:  those who know how to count
pips and those who dont.
Never give a cube youre afraid will be taken.
Buying your opponent drinks is the best investment youll ever make.
The shortest distance between two points is a drop.
Happiness is a two hour box run.
If youre not a compulsive/addictive personality, theres no point playing
backgammon.
No cube is too big if the stakes are too low.
If you often risk the game to go for the gammon/More likely than not,
youll end up the salmon.
When the match is over, everyone thinks they rolled worse.
Its easy to make a great play:  just think of a really dumb play, and do
the opposite.
If you want someone to really hate you, right after you win a game, point
out what they did wrong.
If you want someone to really hate you, complain about your rolls right
after youve won.
Theres no more difference between playing for money and playing for fun
than there is between a loaded gun and a water pistol.
With computerize backgammon, it is now possible to feel angry, degraded,
and depressed any time and any place in the world, twenty-four hours a day.
Playing in too big a game is like reaching under a cow:  you can get hurt
bad if the steaks are over your head. (And you can get udderly creamed.)
You are most likely to win back games when its your opponent who is
playing them.
Duplication is highly highly overrated.
You can judge a player by his hit and cover.
The number of good rolls is directly proportional to the number of good
plays.
Please forgive me if I dont remember playing you before--its probably
because you beat me.
Remember:  once in a while, people actually lose for reasons other than
just bad rolling.
If you stop to truly consider all the variables before every move, plan on
at least spending the night.
If you want to really bore someone, tell them all about your bad rolls.
You can't win if he has nothing to lose.
I like opponents who have courtesy and cash.
If making others happy and being kind to others is important to you, then
you should not play backgammon.
He who bears off last, laughs last.

1997 Phil Simborg
 
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Fun and frustration

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